


Can't you just let me be?

by badgerpride89



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mild angst and lots of swearing from McCoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-28 06:45:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7629082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badgerpride89/pseuds/badgerpride89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because they saved the world, again, doesn't mean McCoy is going to forgive Kirk and Spock so easily for the pain they've put him through. Let them suffer for once. Set just after the V'ger incident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't you just let me be?

**Author's Note:**

> Old, old story from LJ. Figured I should start posting them here before LJ deletes my account.

+

Thank god that was finally over. Another super-being defeated, another hero's welcome home. And not a moment too soon for Leonard McCoy. Another second on that ship with those two and he'd go crazy. He could only act so much for so long. Leonard caught Kirk's surprised look when he chose to sit with Chekov on the ride from Enterprise to the 'Fleet hotel they were staying in for the media circus but he didn't care.

He did care that the Fleet decided to put everyone up separately and idly wondered if his luck was finally turning. He certainly didn't want to explain why the mere thought of bunking with an 'old friend' turned his stomach. Didn't want to so much as look at Kirk or Spock and certainly not at the two of them together...Godammit. He wrenched his thoughts off that worn track.

A hand touched his shoulder. He whirled around, startled, to face Kirk's hesitant smile. He glared.

“I'll see you later?” Kirk asked. Leonard bit back a derisive laugh.

“No,” he answered, then quickly retreated to his suite before Kirk could come after him.

+

The door chime sounded some time later and Leonard groaned. Only two possibilities this late, barring an emergency, and he wasn't fit company for either of them. Not when he wanted to punch or shake the life out of them. Nevertheless, the chime pounded on, the ringer insistently demanding entrance. His frayed temper flared. Who the hell did they think they were? He stalked over to the door, released the lock, and came face to face with not one but both James T. Kirk and Spock. Great.

“Can't you take a hint?” he snarled.

“Bones, we need-”

“Don't you call me that!” he interrupted, ignoring Kirk's flinch, Spock's clenched fists, and his own heart's skipped beat, “There is no 'we,' Admiral. Now leave me alone before I call security.” He thumbed the door closed again and locked it. Damn them both.

+

The T in James T. Kirk actually stood for Tenacious. No matter how many different ways he told the admiral to back the hell off, the man just didn't listen. Sometimes Leonard wondered if Kirk had asked Spock to rig a camera in Leonard's suite or hack the doctor's computer because they were everywhere. They ate meals the same time he did, caught the exact same aircar he did, despite his changing times to keep away from them. Every day, the same story.

The week passed in a haze, filled with cameras, reporters, awards, and more time with those two than he could stand. After J-Kirk cornered him the fifth time, demanding that they talk, Leonard had finally had it.

“Oh, now you want to talk? Now you want to listen? Well, too bad, Kirk, you're three years too late!” he spat, taking no pleasure in Kirk's pained look, “Now you and the Vulcan keep your distance and we might make it out of this with our skins intact.”

No one, save their crew, caught on to the fact that things weren't right between the three men. The men behaved as though they were colleagues and friends in front of the camera, all professional courtesy and good manners. Therein lay the clues. Even in the early days, they'd never been just colleagues. Whatever. Leonard was just grateful most people couldn't see what his friends saw. He had all the pitying and bewildered looks he could take, thanks.

+

“You should talk to them,” Uhura said over dinner one evening. She'd invited him and he'd quickly accepted. Anything to stay away from those two menaces. Leonard feigned ignorance, fiddling with a glass of brandy.

“I'm serious, Len. This is your chance to get answers. They finally seem ready to listen,” she asserted. She and Scotty had become Leonard's anchors the last three years and he thanked whatever deity existed for them (after cursing out said deity for forcing them into that role in the first place).

“Why should I do them any favors?” he asked bitterly, looking only at the glass. Uhura placed a warm hand on his cold one.

“Do yourself the favor, then,” she insisted kindly, catching his eye with hers and not letting go, “Get some closure, one way or another, so you can move on with your life.” He snorted.

“I did move on,” he said fiercely.

“Oh, hon,” she said sadly, shaking her head once, “You didn't move on.” She placed a gentle hand on his face, “You retreated. And understandably so,” she added hastily at his darkening look, “But the time for hiding is over, Leonard.” He looked down, unable to respond.

“Talk to them, Len. Yell, rant, do whatever you need to. They owe you,” she insisted, “and you owe yourself.” He nodded once, the closest thing he could give to a promise. Dinner that night became still and taut. Leonard cursed them once again for messing with his life.

After he called the 'Fleet car to take him to the hotel, Kirk and Spock ambushed him on the wet street. Well, Kirk did, Spock hung back just enough to let Leonard know he didn't agree with Kirk's actions. He eyed Kirk as the man started talking but didn't hear a word he said. Instead, Leonard hardened his resolve and shoved Kirk's grip off his elbow. Kirk almost growled at him, the bastard. Tough shit, Admiral, he thought, how does it feel to not have anything go according to plan?  
  
“We need to talk, doctor,” Kirk insisted in his command voice.  
  
“I have nothing to say to you,” he retorted.  
  
“You're mad at us, we get it, but we don't know what we did or how to fix it.” Leonard scowled, mentally substituting “I” for “we.” Spock's calm poise indicated that he, at least, was figuring out just what had Leonard so pissed.  
  
“You don't know,” Leonard parroted, an eyebrow raised, as Kirk nodded, “Really...”  
  
“Really.” Leonard shifted his gaze so he didn't have to face Kirk's obviously pleading look.  
  
The car's arrival interrupted whatever he might have said in return. He got in, closely followed by his former captain and commander. He told the chauffeur to take them to the hotel and sat back, berating himself. Why the hell was he considering this? He didn't owe them a damn thing. But after all the crap they put him through, they owed him. They should sit there and take every hurt feeling, every precious memory turned sour, every lonely night and every day of hating himself for feeling lonely he dished out. They owed him that. Maybe afterwards he could actually get on with his life. Yeah right.  
  
They exited the car after a tense, silent journey and quickly entered Leonard's suite. He didn't offer them any refreshment, didn't tell them to sit down, nothing. Just turned on a light and turned on them.  
  
“You want to know what you did,” he hissed quietly, his gaze fixed on them as it became predatory. Kirk nodded without hesitation.  
  
Leonard smirked harshly. “Well then I'll tell you, Admiral. Both of you left me! You,” he shoved a finger at Kirk's chest as he stared the man down, “just decided to end everything the second he,” he gestured with his thumb at Spock, “decided he was too good for us mere humans. You moaned on about how perfect everything was and how now it was all gone. Well, I've got news for you, Admiral: Spock was gone, not me! He left, I didn't! I trusted you two, with everything,” he snarled the last bit, rounding on them both, “And that's the thanks I get: you two dropping me like a hot potato the second things get rough!? You want to know how to fix this, Kirk? You can't!” The last word echoed ominously through the room.  
  
Leonard took a deep breath, really looking at the men he both hated and loved for the first time. The years hadn't been kind to them, probably the only consolation to his own pain-filled ones. Kirk didn't shine like he used to, didn't have that same golden aura that made you feel safe and wanted just by being near him. His hair had darkened, as had his eyes. Regret lined every inch of that stiff, worn body. And Spock...he was a mess physically but at the same time, he'd never seen the man so ready to own up to both his feelings and his actions. Leonard backed a few steps away from the statue-like Kirk, clenching his fist.  
  
“I don't plan on ever letting you two do that again,” he whispered, “Fool me once...” He never did figure out how they couldn't know how he felt. He'd told them about Jocelyn, about how he swore to never let someone get that close again. Except that he woke up two years later and realized both of them had sunk their claws much deeper than Jocelyn ever could. Dammit, he'd shared everything he was with them. How could they not know? How could they not care? His temper sparked again.  
  
“Why? Why the hell did you do it?” That was what this was really about. Not throwing every insult he could think of at them, not hurting them. Dammit, he still cared, no matter how hard he tried not to. He needed to know why. The question had dogged him for three years, haunted his every movement. How could they not understand what the three of them had had? How could they just end the relationship he'd planned on spending the rest of his days in?  
  
Spock broke the silence. “I was afraid.” Leonard snorted. Of course. The bogeymen under the bed always had the simplest explanations.  
  
“You think I wasn't?”  
  
“You misunderstand me, doctor,” he replied, bridging the gap between Kirk and Leonard (oh, the irony), not touching either of them but standing closer than Leonard felt comfortable with. “The telepathic bonds that exist between us are regarded as destructive relics leftover from the days before Surak. The sheer emotionalism behind them, we are taught, is very dangerous to all involved. These types of bonds greatly contributed to the wars that nearly destroyed my people.” Good old Spock. No excuses. Just facts.  
  
Spock almost sighed. “That is why I went to Gol, to purge them from my mind.” Spock held Leonard's gaze with his own.  
  
“I found, to my current relief, that they were too strong to break,” he finished quietly. Leonard almost understood the man now. He released the breath he was holding.  
  
“And you?” he drawled, crossing his arms and fixing his gaze on Kirk once again. Kirk fidgeted but gathered himself.  
  
“...Everything was just changing so fast,” he answered, carefully considering each word, “Spock was leaving and all you kept on about was talking him out of it. I was jealous, I suppose. Seemed like you cared more about having him than me. If you wanted just him, you could have just him.” Damn, that made sense too. Leonard had his own share of times he'd felt out of place with them.  
  
“He was leaving. I was trying to convince you to help me because together we might have stopped him. I didn't think I had to worry about you leaving too. ”  
  
“You would not have succeeded,” Spock interrupted lowly, painfully.  
  
They eyed each other for a long moment.  
  
“I regret my actions towards both of you. It was not my intent to harm you.”  
  
“I'm sorry, Bones.” The tight knot in Leonard's chest eased slightly.  
  
“I know. Me too.” Silence filled the cracks between them.  
  
“Where do we go from here?” Kirk whispered. Where indeed? Broken trust was a tricky thing to handle, trickier to fix, especially between friends and lovers. Didn't help that they were both.  
  
“Where you two go is up to you,” Leonard finally sighed, “As for us, right now, just leave me alone. If I need a drinking buddy or a pool player, I'll call you. But don't talk to me until then. Please.” His heart still ached just from looking at them, even with everything out in the open.  
  
They nodded. And left. But this time with his blessing.  
  
Maybe one day they'd be a triad again. Maybe.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

>   
>  **Title:** Can't you just let me be? - Ship Wars Prompt 4, "In the Doghouse"  
>  **Disclaimer:** They aren't a canon triad, therefore they are not mine.  
>  **Beta:** Nightshadow_t2


End file.
